Japanese Style

Barely & Easily

2010-07-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

Have been a long time never update my blog already. Something is barely can be done, something is easily can be done. Some people, do think that the world is easy as they think because they barely touch the real world. I always know that world is very cruel, and it's my easiest time now. A lot of people told me that I should cherish my time now.

Whatever, I just know that I am wasting my time everyday. I have been wasting my time since I was born. I have seen someone with really no one second wasted. Someone who is using every second. In other words, there's no relax for that one. There's only stressful around the individual.

World is ending? We don't know yet. As everyone's telling, take it easy; don't get psycho.

Easily be the one,
Barely can be done.

Louis ®

Old gives birth to New

2010-07-15T12:21:00.001-07:00

Sunset, it shows ending of a day. To follow, darkness night will attend. Maybe, it just looks like a very normal phenomenon. However, we as human beings just equal to this normal phenomenon. Day turns to night, Night turns to day. If I can say a day is the highest point, and a night is the lowest point in life. It means a lot. We always learn something, but we do always lose something. How can we make things better off? Learn more new things, refresh the old one.

Life is hard,
Compared to what?

Louis ®

Octopus "Paul"

2010-07-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

Paul, would be the most famous football star for this Africa world cup. 100% accuracy of predicting the winner of the match. No wonder all people address it as the God of octopus! Like the newspaper stated, if whoever could follow Paul's prediction for this Africa world up, the person would be very rich person already. From the beginning, we use RM10 to gamble. After 10 matches, we could win about RM8000+ already! Imagine if we use RM100 to gamble? Then we could win about RM80000++? If RM1000? However, Paul is 3 years old already. It is very near to its deadline. Normal lifetime for an octopus is about 3 years only. I think the name of "Paul" will be written down on history book? Or in museum?

By the way, as the world cup ended. All the citizens back to normal life. Sleep at night, work in day. Night is no longer noisy as world cup's night.

Time never be insufficient,
If we know how to use it.

Louis ®

Quote

2010-07-04T04:51:00.000-07:00

Read this quote while I was walking on the road "He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the direction of wisdom." which I always think it's true. Let's try to explain this quote by parts. It means before being a wisdom guy, he must be daring to be a fool. A fool means he must try out plenty of different things or experiences. Before stepping into wisdom and successful, that's the road.

Effective time management requires experiences too, it needs wisdom as well. Why are we always questioning: "Why do we always not have adequate time for everyday? Can God provide us another 24 hours in a day?" Actually, it doesn't matter with how many hours in a day. If the person doesn't know how to manage his/her time effectively, it's totally useless for him/her to have 240 hours per day. He/She will waste all the 240 hours in a day and continue complaining 240 hours are not enough.

This article comes to ending. People do enjoy another last four matches for World Cup 2010. Please do shouting in mamak stall, macdonald, club, and everywhere whenever a goal is in!

Wisdom,
Is come from Fool.

Louis ®

Activation of Life

2010-07-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I would just wonder why I always worry about some little small problems. By comparing my life's requisition with the world's natural beings, significantly, my life's requisition is much much smaller than the world's natural beings. But, the wondering thought always activates my motivation. In other words, it often motivates me and releases me from stress. Maybe of many types of world ending movie have been shown at everywhere, so that this thought always appears in my mind. And that's why I always think of traveling to other countries, viewing picturesque scenery in different nations. But I don't know when can I do that, that will be my impetus to work harder in every aspects.

First Station - Venice in Italy
(which dad & mum have always been saying it's very beautiful
because they visited before)

Second Station - Perth in Australia

Well and this post comes to an end, wonderful scenery in picture form have totally inspired me to activate my life. World-cup 2010 is still running, for gamblers, wish you all luck and win as much as you can. The most important thing is don't ever addict to gambling.

Life is Short,
Make it Useful.

Louis ®

Prepare Myself, Open My Mind

2010-06-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

A special scene in the sky. Love shape clouds! How amazing is it? Wondering how long have I been since I first wrote this blog, it's two years! Wondering how scary is the time killing my ages! Wondering how much have I been changing for so long. I have been seeing a lot of "regret" word from my friends. Some of them are working, some of them are changing university, some of them are changing their courses. Just simply because of a word "regret". Maybe this is a "success" of Malaysia Education which makes people don't know their direction? Luckily, God bless me, I've got my direction now, I can go for it without any hesitation!

Or what, same things apply in love matters. Prepare yourself, open your mind. Prepare yourself as in preparing yourself to get into love but not preparing yourself to hunt for a new love. Open your mind as in honest to yourself who do you want. Face yourself and your partner honestly. Right partner is always difficult to find, but as everytime we fall, we must learn something and correct our mistake and not to do the same mistake again. Expectation level should be pulled down lower, but not too high, you will be very stressful over a time.

I have always been thinking, if human were heartless, then we wouldn't suffer a lot. But if human were heartless, then we wouldn't enjoy and feel the happiness. This concept let me to understand that, everything has its pros and cons. How difficult the life, as we think it positively, we will find out there's many advantages for us!

Last Saturday, I hanged out with my primary classmates. I bought an ice cream to eat, and that time was just few minutes before we wanted to go to other place. Half way of eating that icy food, my friends all decided to go already. I still couldn't finish the ice cream, so I planned to leave it there.

My friend: How you gonna leave your food just like that?

Me: I think we have to go already, isn't it?

My friend: But you are wasting your ICE CREAM!

Me: You want me to eat my ice cream when I am driving?

My friend: It doesn't matter in you are driving or not, but don't you feel bad of wasting food? Your ice cream can let an African to eat for 2 months already!

Me: ...... Ok, fine! I will take it!

2 months, maybe a little bit overstated, but it's true that Africans are very pitiful that they don't have foods to eat. I think ice cream life only can survive for two hours? Then it will turn to liquid form already.

Addition, wish all the fathers, happy father's day! If want to watch world cup, then buy a father's day cake to watch world cup together, appreciate family life! If want to eat outside, choose a good restaurant which offers delicious food.

Louis ®

Nothing Is Forever

2010-06-10T05:02:00.000-07:00

"Nothing is forever", what I learned by watching an anime. "Nothing is impossible", what I learned from my secondary school principal. However, we can make everything to be possible, how about "forever"? Personally, I don't trust too much in the word "forever" too! Nothing is forever, I agree with this statement. Human, will die. Earth, will disappear. Love, will fade. Thus, I only trust in "as long as I can, until the ending day of me".

Even a standard five student knows nothing is forever. His dog left the world, he understood, he has never cried. He is just the way so strong, he is just the way so mature in the sense of he is just a standard five student! Why do we so persist in everything? I shall change my mindset, resetting it. Persistence, needed, but not too over. If we can manage to achieve this mindset, then we can see the world differently and always to be happy. Pressure, stress, and psychological disorder will just go away from our world!

For me, "nothing is forever" is just the opposite side of "nothing is impossible". If we trust "nothing is impossible" too much, then we will just very persist in doing something and won't let go things. On the other hand, if we trust "nothing is forever", then we will just simply do a thing which can satisfy us. How to manage to get the equal? This is the difficult one.

Myself, lack of sleep for these few days due to football fever. However, I will keep myself in perfect condition! All in all, I am just a student. Can't be too relax, can't be too playful. Football fever, 4 years once. The hot meeting with friends and family, should enjoy it!

Louis ®

Unleash Your Potential

2010-06-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Everyone with every different potential. One may good in some specific areas but not all the areas. It depends on the one's potential. However, not all of the people love their hidden potential energy. Some people do love their weaknesses, they try and work very hard only to improve their weaknesses.

Boring Saturday that I must be alone at home. Who could accompany me? No one. I just found out that, I am such a contradictory person, I love to be alone when many people around me, I scare to be alone when no one around me. Find something to make use my time, I was studying marketing for few hours. At least I did something useful for myself. Then, online, I've downloaded a lot of new songs. I think I can enjoy them for two weeks, at least.

Ok, it's time to sleep. Good night. For the person, rest in peace, God will always bless you.

Louis ®

Busy sooner

2010-06-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

Busy? Busy what? What to busy? Why busy?

I can't waste time anymore, lazy.

Target needs to be achieved!

Louis ®

Procrastinating Process

2010-06-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

Recently, I am procrastinating a lot of jobs.

Reading, studying, working.

One of the most important is, I have to pass the photocopy of SPM certificate to my friend but I always think that is not important and keep procrastinating!

Awwwwwwwww.

I just can't imagine my whole degree life if I still cannot correct this super bad habit!

Louis ®

Tiredness

2010-05-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

I don't think it's easy for me to have the remaining 14 Tuesdays in college.

8am-6pm classes will make me exhausted.

However, I will try my best to do it!

Louis ®

Been back

2010-05-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

One month of holiday is much much enough for me. Although I am a lazy person, I do love to be a full time student. I enjoy study life! I have been back to HELP to continue my degree. It has three more years to go. Huh? Is it too long? I thought like that before, but my one year foundation was just passing like water falling speed. I think three years time isn't long too.

I think that the degree will be much more different than the foundation because there can be many students in one lecture. Comparing to foundation, there's maximum 30 students in one lecture only. Sleep, play, study, I've to set my timetable as beautiful as I can because this is degree, I've to be more discipline than when I was in foundation. Can't fall asleep during lecturing, can't play too much, can't procrastinate when assignment is assigned to us. I think I can do better.

Let's move on to the thing I must complain about HELP! Tutorial signing group is super unfair to all the students. Plus the original SPM certificate thing made me a lot of troubles driving back to Penang and driving back to KL. And I had to negotiate with the registry in charge person to postpone my due date to Monday. Well, this is still ok. I can imagine when I come out to work and I make a mistake, it will be a super big problem for me!

Louis ®

Untitled

2010-04-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

Eventually, I can leave this HELP main block which means I completed my foundation course already! It really makes me happy for days. I can continue going for my degree life, it will be more surprisingly, more exciting than foundation life. I can predict that. However, I clearly know that, I must work super hard, ten thousand times harder than in foundation life to get good certificate.

Ok, my result isn't very good and I admit that I am a very lazy student as well. I got total 6 passed, 2 credit, 2 distinction, 1 high distinction which is considered as bad. I was wasting my parents' money as well for getting so bad result. I'll work really hard during degree. This is what I promised to myself.

Well, holiday life continues going on. Let's have fun, don't think of stress.

Louis ®

Emergency case

2010-04-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

Emergency case

Grandmum is sleeping in hospital now =(

Worried

Should have mental preparation since she's 87 years old =(

Louis ®

Drama-ing

2010-04-26T22:02:00.001-07:00

I know that I am a little bit outdated that I only started to watch this drama last few days ago.

It is a nice drama, thumbs up.

For those people who haven't watched this yet, download it or buy it!

GRAB IT NOW!

Louis ®

Pages and Windows

2010-04-22T04:45:00.000-07:00

4 days I've been in my hometown already. The second longest day I can actually stay at my home and I don't even go out. I think I am just such a freak who loves to lock himself at home. I can really do everything with my lovely laptop, I online in my room, I watch drama in my room. I can do everything in my room. Going out just a very lazy thing for me.

I just watched Iron Man yesterday. How good if I am a creative scientist? I want to create a flying machine just like the iron man suit which can make me fly all the time whenever I like. So that I can just fly to anywhere I like. Alternatively, I just hope that I were a jumper, I can blink or jump to any place that I want to go. It would be easier because flying machine needs to take time, jumping or blinking to other place doesn't cost one second also.

Well, we are just normal human beings, we cannot do anything that is over human beings can do.

Louis ®

Night ends / Morning starts

2010-04-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Night and day, what's the differences? I personally think there's no differences between night and day. The only difference is day is bright and night is dark. Nothing special after all. I still remembered, I woke up early in the morning on Monday because I wanted to take earlier bus to get back hometown before sunset. I just do not know why I hate sitting in bus when sunset or night. Sitting in bus alone is miserable already, the brightness goes away makes me feel lonelier.

One day ago, I went to my elder brother's house and had a conversation with his wife. They worked in London before, so they shared their experience with me. Life over there was a tragedy for them because the weather is very fickle. There just can be in 17 degree celcius during day and drop to below 0 degree celcius during night. A big change. I feel I am so a lucky person live in Malaysia that the weather is not that fickle although it is hot.

Still keep in mind that I talked to my daddy yesterday midnight from 12am - 1.30am. How long haven't I talked to my daddy already? Months? If my KL friends were here, I would be much happier. I love my home. I love my friends over there. I love a girl over there.

Louis ®

Warm & Warm

2010-04-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

It's just like the fish in the water, which is warm water. It is a super comfortable environment which the fish can feel it truly. And the condition is super clean that the fish can live super comfortable inside. Like what I feel now, comfortable, warm, clean, everything in one. I love this place, I love this home, I love here!

Except the word "warm", it is still the word "warm". I can feel it through my family members, I can feel it through my relatives (some of them, some of them are criticism). I ate my daddy's new product (food), it is super nice! He is really a genius, creative chef. My mummy, she is a super business woman. She just has a lot of ways to earn money, a creative business woman too. I just don't know why they are so creative but not me? Maybe I am still young that I don't have enough exposure or experience yet.

It is just one word "warm". I love here, but I love Kuala Lumpur too. I cannot just prior one side, both sides are important for me!

Louis ®

Let mistake goes, make experience comes

2010-04-19T17:24:00.000-07:00

I was so silly that I mistakenly bought Pulau Pinang ticket instead of Butterworth ticket which brought me straightly to Pulau Pinang. Everyone was teasing at me when I reached home yesterday night at 11.30pm. I woke up at 7am yesterday because I wanted to get home earlier. Unfortunately, my brother had to service his car which caused three hours wasted and then we had brunch together. After that, stupid massive jam made me reached LRT station at 1.30pm. From Wangsa Maju LRT station to Bukit Jalil took 1 hour +. I reached Bukit Jalil at 2.30pm something.

Started walking blankly and following crowd. So that I found the selling ticket counter! The bus manager is really kind person brought me along to counter. I purchased 3.30pm bus to Pulau Pinang. Oh my god! Maybe that is because I never bought ticket myself, so that I didn't know I should buy Butterworth ticket. So, I reached Penang bus station at 9pm. Called my mummy, so my father became a victim to pick me up at Penang bus station. Pitiful. I love you daddy~ Now I have my home. Enjoyment comes along! Yippy! Enjoy first without thinking anything!

Start thinking of many nice foods, start thinking of friends, start thinking of hanging out.

Louis ®

Three minutes before the day turns

2010-04-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

What should I say? What could I say? What did I want to say? That is HAPPY! We had fun over the day after day after day hanging out! Sounds crazy, all the laughing without taking care of other people around us, all the joking without caring others! It's awesome! It's wonderful!

I finished my last paper of final exam on Tuesday. After that I didn't hang out with guys because I was super tired that I needed a lot of resting badly! Let's see!

Wednesday: I went singing k with Yong Wei, Cherry, and Samuel. We had fun and sang like crazy fools! After that, I went look out point with Carmen, Alan, Choon Yen, and Nicole. Super bad experience that I first went to look out point. That is my finger injured. It was freaking pain!

Thursday: Had an amazing night with Jeremy's friends and him as well at Sri Rampai night market chit-chatting! Wow!

Friday: Sunway Lagoon + BBQ! Super fun again! We experienced many heart beating 150++ games there! BBQ super nice that I still miss it now!

Saturday: Went to PC fair and bought a 1TB external hard disk which costs for RM309 only! It is super cheap! Went to Kerinchi Korean BBQ with Jer's group and sweat a lot during BBQ because it was freaking hot!

That were my days, freaking nice days! Let's count the cost, Wednesday RM12+RM24=RM36, Thursday RM9, Friday RM60+RM5+RM16=RM81, Saturday RM309+RM44=RM353. Total up RM479. Heart bleeding after counting the cost, but it is worth!

Louis ®

Better do something than STARING

2010-04-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

I just can be staring at the psychology textbook for hours, and just read two pages for hours! Oh my god! Psychology paper is at 11.30am tomorrow! How can I continue wasting time? Thus, I choose to blog better than staring at the book. At least I can continue focusing on studying after I've written blog.

I am always thinking about holidays and holidays since psychology paper is my last paper and YAHOO that I can enjoy my holidays after tomorrow 1.30pm! The worst thing is I cannot focus on my study because of thinking of holidays! That's so bad! Scare to fail any subject also because my mum has to pay more since she is a super selfish person. Woops!

Me: Hello, mummy.

Mummy: Call me for what?
(So weird like only call you for something is it?)
Me: Call you to have a conversation with you since I am your son.

Mummy: Ok, what do you want to talk with me?

Me: Erm, I am having final examination and I need your support mum~

Mummy: How is it? Doing fine?
(Grrrr, I need your support. Not your questions.)
Me: Fine, but I scare because this is my last semester.

Mummy: So, after this, you are going for degree already?

Me: Hmm, yea. I am taking finance already.

Mummy: Need money again yea...?

Me: Yea, prepare for it~

Mummy: Cannot borrow loan?

Me: Can, but first two semesters need to self-service first.

Mummy: Aiyo...........

Me: I know the money causes a lot of troubles for you. I will study hard. Don't worry.

Mummy: ............

Me: I am going back in this week, chat that time~ bye mum~

Mummy: Bye bye, take care yea, drink a lot.

Oops. That's my lovely mum. Ok, I think I shall continue studying since I have many more to go and time is rushing!

Louis ®

Safety / Unsafety

2010-04-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

I am so scared for my accounting paper. I scare that paper will make my foundation longer. Addition, why is the stupid new law has been introduced during this semester? Why cannot just let me pass this semester first then they only introduce the new law? Money-making only. Furthermore, why is the accounting paper so difficult until I couldn't understand the question? I was screwed-up in exam hall today, I was going to tear off the paper when I first saw the section B part. I counted my margin of safety, is it safety or not safety? It is just between the line. That means it is very dangerous. God, please bless me. Luck belongs to me please. I hope that tomorrow's psychology paper will be much easier than today's paper, at least I can understand the question.

Louis ®

Book / Textbook again!!

2010-04-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

I just wonder why I could stare at the wall for many hours and psychology textbook was just on my study table and I could not just focus on the textbook. How can I pass if I continue doing this stupid thing? Come on! You shall start doing your revision! This is your final semester and you also hope that you won't retake any foundation semester anymore! You just need to work harder and harder for these last three days and it will not cause many troubles for you to sit in front of study table to study!

Louis ®

Too tired of college life

2010-02-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

How long I haven't been back to my blog? How long I have been busy until now that I have my time to write this blog? Erm, all these questions are hard to answer because I was being busy all the time. I am a person who like to change perspective and opinion. I remember that I have a friend who always introduces me new song to listen, but I always say that song not nice. However, after few weeks, I will just keep listening to that song. Maybe I am like that? I don't even know.

I gotta be friendly, confident and passionate in everything that I want to accomplish. Sometimes turn to be quite arrogant, sorry, friends. A studiuos and future thinker, I am always feel content about my life. I hope that I can finish my degree as fast as possible so that I can work and have a bright future. For me, future, money and lastly health are everything. Kind of selfish but do goods for family members and lover too.

Louis ®

Aduh... Hols...

2009-12-20T22:39:00.000-08:00

What's going on? Holiday..

"What should I do?"

I have been asking myself everyday for many weeks already..

However, I enjoy my holiday, I love my holiday, I want to do nothing as do everything at my little house..

Drama, drama, drama..

Anime, anime, anime..

Dota, dota, dota..

Gym, gym, gym..

Keep repeating and repeating..

I love my life, I enjoy my life~

Ladies and gentlemen enjoy your holiday too ^^

Louis ®

Gonna be crazy soon..

2009-12-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

Just saw friends' photos. I am getting a little bit crazier and angrier. What does it mean? FRIENDS? BROTHERS? They are just using you when they feel that you have that usage. After that, they don't even want to care about you and don't even say a "HI" to you! That's not feeling of neglected, is feeling of betraying. Don't like to talk much about it. I should be alone. I don't deserve any friend.

惜...

2009-12-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

今天，我才发现到，我原来是那么让人不敢接近啊...朋友缘，我是注定了没有的。能跟我做得到朋友的最多几个月而已...原来，我的人气都是那么差的。没人会喜欢我的...看到周围的人，人气王。我没办法，我也想要一些朋友，一起玩耍、谈天。就像小时候，我跟我三个哥哥们，一起追逐玩耍，像几个乡间小孩一样。为什么，长得越大，看到的东西越来越多、越来越难接受？朋友也就不能靠近我、不能跟我谈心事。

我曾经把心交出去，可是换回来的是，一次次的...伤害。难道，我就是那么一个人的吗？无论是友情或爱情。我很在意、很在意、很在意，虽然我一直都说无所谓。我很在意，朋友们的疏离，可能是我太冷了吧，总是被丢掉的那个。可是，我并不像别人那样厉害说话，我并不像别人那样。我没有资格去责怪...

上天，实现我的愿望...我希望，从此以后，我不是被丢掉的那个，友情和爱情都是。我宁愿，减寿、变穷人都好...我爱的人，我爱的朋友们，还有我爱的家人。我一直都很珍惜你们，可是我不会说话，请原谅...我的嘴巴并不甜，我的头脑并不创意，可是...我真的很珍惜...生命中的你们。

如果上述的文章太过伤感的话，下面有一个冷笑话：

有一天，一个男孩问一个女孩：“你喜欢什么花？”
女孩回答：“我喜欢两种花。”
男孩急忙问：“哪两种花？我送给你！”
女孩低头小声说：“有钱花、随便花！”
男孩傻傻地说：“你真美！”
女孩妩媚的说：“哪里美？”
男孩说：“想得美！”

What define love?

2009-11-12T16:00:00.000-08:00

What define love? Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attention. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes. Its ranging is from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love you"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

Now, I want to share something is about interpersonal love. This type of love is the most interesting for our human beings.

The story starts from:

A guy who was always alone, did not trust any other person at all. He did not want to share anything with his friends, his relatives, except his mother. The reason was he loves his mother a lot. The way came to this was because his father made his mother felt sad before. His father, is a kind and responsible person, but he had been found that he had another girlfriend beyond his family. That is why, he hates his father and loves his mother. That is why, he did not really believe any other person excluding his mother. He was always building a concrete wall in his heart and the wall was getting stronger and stronger. Because he did not want another person to understand him.

Until one day, he noticed a girl. He felt that girl was not a good girl because her surrounding friends. He did not like her friends. Time passed... Few months, he again, met that girl. And then, he started talking to her. At that time, he found out that the girl was not what he had been thinking before. He found that girl was extremely kind and good. And he, was falling in love deeply but with only one side love. He tried his best to approach her, to talk to her, to accompany her, to understand her. However, it was very sad that because the girl did not want to get into relationships. That girl told him: "I want to be a good friend with you, and I do not want to let the relationship stuff to affect our friendships."

He was very upset for few days. Why? Because he fell in love deeply, deeply until he could not know any other particular thing. He knew, he was always alone, he did not deserve a love, he should not have been a human being, he did not deserve a heart, a mind inside his body. He was a guy, very very low self-esteem.

Story, to be continued...

Love is a complicated thing for humans. I personally wish all those couples should cherish their relationships and do not break up easily because love is the most important thing in this world and the amount to purchase a love is uncountable. Somebody dies for love, somebody lives for love, some miracles happen for love, love is an incredible thing, please cherish it.

I was so high I did not recognize

The fire burning in her eyes

The chaos that controlled my mind

Louis ®

我的内心世界

2009-11-08T06:16:00.000-08:00

星期天（晴天）

今天的我好大胆，竟然一个人不懂路就骑着摩托车去timesquare。兜这里兜那里才去到，去了又不会回家，又是乱兜...我去timesquare是为了买一个新的digi sim card。为了她买...还有是因为爸爸忘记还钱，我没得打电话。没办法啦，所以就去买了。

听着一些感动的歌...才有心情写部落格。有人说部落格是开放的日记。可是我并不这么认为。部落格是给人记录心情的一个地方。有时候看回部落格会有一种特别的感受。我的眼泪有时候也很容易掉下，我会因为看了别人的部落格而心疼、掉泪。

我会常常觉得，我什么都比不上人家。所以在做着任何事情都好，我都不会去特别争取。因为别人会表现得比我好很多...或许这就是我的性格吧...？无论是在什么地方都好，我都会让别人。我不会刻意和别人争某样东西，如果他真的喜欢，我都会让别人。

部落格，通常都是一个充满情绪词句的地方。我每次写部落格时，我总会听一些很感动的歌曲，我才会有心情去写。我依稀地记得，在我和我前女友启慈分手后，我每次写部落格，我都会流下眼泪。我也是为了她，才开始我的部落格生活...

Louis ®

Back After

2009-10-05T05:27:00.001-07:00

I am very busy and lacking of time for these few months. Actually, I do not know why I am not enough of time usage. There are a lot of things, works to do, my mind is actually going to burst! I view my blog everyday, but I am really lazy to write something on my blog. Maybe I have no idea with what I must write, what I should write? Maybe this is because of Human Communication blog? I have to write two posts on my Human Communication blog weekly, that is enough to kill my brain cells, I have no energy to think what I should write on my blog anymore. However, I will be writing my blog again.

I have to talk about Mooncake Festival first, everyone had their Mooncake Festival activities, but not me. I actually stayed at home and did my works. How long I have not been playing a latern? I think I have not been playing a latern for around five years already. The last time I played a latern when I was form 1. Unfortunately, I cannot recall what I was playing on that day. Memories gone again. I made a call to my parents and wished them Happy Mid-Autumn, they were very happy that I wished them. My parents told me that the whole Penang was raining on Mooncake Festival Day. That sounds so sad because every person could not play a latern due to rain. Although I was not going to celebrate Mooncake Festival, I was seeing scenery of KLCC from my house which is located at Setapak. Sound of crackers, I could feel it; sound of Mat Rempit, I could sense it.

I have made a promise to a girl, I do not know whether I can do it or not. I trust that I will do it. She is a perfect girl who I have never ever seen before. Therefore, I felt that she is highly unreachable, I did not know how to talk to her, how to confess to her in real life, how to make real friends with her. She always told me that she is not perfect, but I feel that she is perfect now. She told me that I like her, I adore her just a crush issue, but as the time goes, I do love her. She told me that she is not getting in love in this year, I told her that I can wait for her. I know I am not doing such stupid things, I know I am doing a right thing, at least that is right for me. I asked her before, "Do I deserve a chance?", she answered me, "Everyone stays a chance." I hope that chance is me.

KLCC view is really nice, especially at the night. I am seeing the KLCC view at living room. This month is a Pink Month. Good luck to everyone, involve in pink as much as you can.

Leave old pictures in the past,

Donate every dime you have,

If today was your last day.

Louis ®

Memories Left Abandoned

2009-09-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

I am so upset that my memories are all gone now, I was trying my full effort to find out my past photos but I could not have found it! I login to my friendster and tried to look for but they were deleted by me last time. I did that because I was still in relationship with my past girlfriend and I did not want her to see those photos that I had taken with my female friends. In addition, I actually saved those photos in my first handphone that I had, that was my lovely N-GAGE QD. However, that phone was broken down in March and now, those memories are all gone! I intended to write this blog because I wanted to write down my feeling and every memory. I do not want to repeat the same mistake that I have done.

I wasted a lot of time in this weekend, I did not fully use the free time when I was at home. I just did those things that actually useless for me. I was wasting time on watching drama, reading novel. I still remember that my aunt always told me that we must always put full effort on doing everything, we should not do other things that are not related to the thing we are doing. Of course I know that is the way to success, but everyone knows that is very difficult for us to concentrate for one thing. One has a very good willpower only can go to the way of success, can we train our willpower? I know it is a very difficult, the toughest lesson, but we must handle it. I must always tell myself, I should not be lazy, I should not be emotion, I should not be playful! Those three things I have always told myself, I have only achieved two of the three, I am always happy and trying not to be angry, I am not playful like before. Lazy, a habit that parasitizes in our body and it is very difficult to be removed. However, I will try my best to remove it and I know I can do it.

Today, I went to Klang with Edwin, Alvis, Bryant to eat Bak Kut Teh. When I first saw the buildings in Klang, the first imagination in my mind was Perak because the buildings in Klang look like ancient. On the other hand, I must admit that Klang is a good place to take our meal because the food over there is very delicious! After I have been in Kuala Lumpur for so long, I did not really taste a tasty food because Penang's food is very delicious! After that, we killed our 2 hours at cyber cafe, we played counter strike and command 2. Edwin and Alvis are gay partners, they always have a very good tacit understanding. Good friends normally will have a perfect tacit understanding but I have not found my one yet. About my beautiful weekend, Saturday, I spent the late morning with Alvis and his girlfriends at a dim sum restaurant. We had had our brunch there because of Alvis' late waking up. Bryant came to my house to sleep over night because he had a meeting that regarded to Chinese Society yesterday night. I wasted a lot of times with them but I feel that was worthy.

Wish all of the readers will not let memories left abandoned. If we lose our memories, we will regret!

So give me reason,

To prove me wrong,

To wash this memory clean.

Louis ®

An Unlucky Day

2009-09-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

Since I has been writing my group blog for human communication, I think I love writing already. While we are writing, it makes our brain to work, process; we have to think creatively to write a good article. My friends, my coursemates around me are really good writer, they can write a good article even though some of them are writing Chinese article. Their literary talent is very good, they are brilliant too! I must practice my writing skills also, I intended to improve my writing skills!

Today is my unlucky day, I went to college for attending class at 3pm. That was my human comm class, we were watching movie during class. Actually, we have to write down the description of every character in that movie and pass up on next Monday. We had fun, we laughed loudly but in the half way, the movie could not be played because of some technique error. Moreover, that technique error only happened when the climax of that movie. That movie is called "Rat Race", it was really nice! I only know the only one actor inside, that was Mr. Bean! His speaking was very cute and funny, his acting skills was very mature but very childish which is very contradictive. That movie began with all of the eight people went to a casino for gambling and they won a coin that could bring them to conference room for party. They only realized that was a giant prize was waiting for them to win it. The host of the game told them that who is the first one that can open the locker which contains $2,000,000,000 in New Mexico will be the winner. They were all running for it to get the big prize, they commited a crime, they stole, they planned to murder while they were running for it. However, we could not finish that movie because of technique error existed!

Afterward, I got a message from my English classmate, he told me that our group has been closed! I was shocked when I got this message because I did my timetable for two hours long. If my English class is close, other English classes all clash with my other subjects. It would be a problem for me to reschedule it again. We as my classmates in English group Q and I went to HMC office to do some changes. HMC staff did some changes on my timetable, my timetable is very disabled now. I have 6 hours break on Wednesday and I only can go back home after 5pm for every working day excluding Friday. It is really a disabled timetable.

Today, 11st of September is my unlucky day! I will not forget this day!

Say you gotta take the good,

the bad,

happy and the sad.

Louis ®

Begging for forgiveness

2009-09-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

Today is my second day in my second semester. My seniors were frightening me that second semester is the toughest semester in foundation! I really scare that if I could not pass my second semester? If I could not pass my second semester, I have to retake the whole progress again? I hate that! I must put more effort than first semester, I must work harder! The lecturers I got in this semester are totally different to first semester, this semester I got three Chinese lecturers and one Indian lecturers only. By comparing to last semester, I got all the lecturers were Indian, dark skin. Anyhow, I am so unlucky that I have become a class rap for Critical Thinking Skills class and Advanced English class for the throughout 14 weeks! Fortunately, I am only helping my Critical Thinking Skills lecturer to carry her things unlike in Advanced English class. I have to inform all my classmates about everything that my Advanced English lecturer informs me, so I have to check my email every half day and keep my mobile phone on all the times!

However, I feel I am so lucky because I have chosen the right classes and the right lecturers. Especially my human communication's lecturer, he is really nice and funny! I think my following weeks will be very fun and excited! Everyone will be hyper active in his class! I do not know how he does it, but he does! And in my Critical Thinking Skills class, my lecturer teased me in the morning! She asked me why my signature is Andy but my name is Louis? I answered her, because my secondary friend designed the signature for me and I think it is beautiful. She asked me to change my signature. This is my bad experience in the classroom, my second day of this semester some more! Luckily, tomorrow is Friday, I have no classes on tomorrow, I can sleep on my bed until late afternoon though I cannot sleep until so late because I am used to wake up at 9am. I think I will start my reading on Critical Thinking Skills, Economics textbook. I think I have to do so because I do not want to disappoint my parents and my aunt as well.

This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

Louis ®

fall in together, pulling together

2009-08-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

This post will be the last post in August 2009. Thirty-first of August is an unforgettable day for all the Malaysians. This day is our Independence Day, we were released from the governance of British in 1957. I still remember what our first Prime Minister did in that year.

He shouted aloud seven times "Merdeka!".

Yesterday night was really noisy, our Malaysia bad culture - Mat Rempit, kept boong-ing by their motorcycle and the crackers noise. I heard our nation song "Negaraku" at 12am from far apart, I think it was from KLCC there. Independence day in this year will be a little bit different from the other years because of the scary disease, H1N1. There have been 69 deaths as of August 24, 2009. The numbers of death are scary, the first person was infected by H1N1 in Malaysia on May 15, 2009. It takes only three months to kill 69 lives. Also, we cannot really control the transmission of this disease because of the influenza virus unpredictability. I can see that if H1N1 can be stopped, then a new kind of virus or disease will appear again! From the last few years, SARS, then H1N1.

Some things we don't talk about,
Rather do without,
Just hold a smile.

Louis ®

Make You Believe, Make You Forget

2009-08-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

The first day in a week, Sunday. Usually, Sunday is the most boring day for me because I have nothing to do on Sunday. I like weekdays more than weekends. The only thing I normally do on Sunday is listening to some music.

I like Lady GaGa's music very much because of her special background music and her special wearing styles! Also, Lady GaGa has done her album by herself, she wrote the lyrics by herself! How talent is her? She might can be a superstar in the future!

I went to Timesquare to watch Laughing Gor Turning Point at Wednesday midnight! That movie was really nice and Michael Tse will be the next artist that TVB wants to hold up because he is a very talented artist!

Time flies, something makes me freaking nervous is my second sem is coming! A new semester, new friends, new subjects! I heard a lot of seniors said that second semester is the toughest semester! I think from the first day of second semester, I cannot enjoy much entertainment like my first semester already. I must, I must work harder than my first semester to achieve good results! However, second semester timetable gonna freak me out! I might be mad because of non-friday timetable! That is a really crazy timetable, but I can rest on Friday!

I am quite satisfied with something new, that is my new little gadget!

That is my little N97! My Compaq CQ40 and my Nokia N97 like father and son! It is so cute! A mini computer! Powerful clockrate 434 Mhz, speed RAM 128MB, high resolution 640X360, 3.5inch TFT, Battery 1500mAh, 32GB on-board memory, 16GB expansion memory card, Carl Zeiss Lens, 5 megapixels, music playback 37 hours, WLAN IEEE 802.11b/g! A super handphone! I love my little gadget from now on!

First do what is prior,
Second do what is unimportant.

Louis ®

Going back

2009-08-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

On 26th of April, I have been in Kuala Lumpur. After the three and half months, I am done with my first semester. Today, my buddies are all playing and enjoying at Genting Highlands; only me, one person stays at home. Yesterday BBQ party was really nice! Somehow, it began to rain while we were enjoying our BBQ party. We had no choice, we went back to my house to continue our party! We drank the champagne which was brought by Adam Tham and our chief master Alvis was busy cooking in the kitchen; of course, we were only eating the chief master's products! The foods were really nice!

Yesterday, I started to clean up my house, it is more comfortable to live than before. It was really like a rubbish house before, but now it is a tidy house!

To all my Kuala Lumpur friends:

Bye & Ciao

I am going back to my hometown, Penang.

Louis ®

Somethings Will Never Be Able To Look Back

2009-08-05T02:38:00.000-07:00

I vaguely remember when I was in secondary school. At that time, I always thought that secondary school was monotonous; at that time, I always thought that I wanted to be a college's scholar as fast as possible. Now, I am a college's student, yet I prefer the secondary school life. Personally, I know that college life is more interesting; however, it is very stressful. For example, as a college's student, I am always suffering in those annoying assessments such as quizzes, midterm, presentations, assignments, final examinations. Furthermore, if I do not do well in these things, I will fail and I have to retake the whole course. Consequently, this will cost me a lot!

I have been here for 3 months, everyone thinks that I have improved a lot. Nevertheless, I have disappointed them. I must be more hardworking than others! I clearly know that I am weaker than others; also, I know that I will be suffering in the future if I do not take action now! I also know that if I am indolent for now, then it is too late to regret later.

Somethings will never be able to look back, time passes, time flies. Everyone should treasure time, because it will not be back!

Louis ®

The final week before final examination

2009-08-01T00:53:00.000-07:00

From the beginning of my college's life, I have been staying in Kuala Lumpur for three months already. I am so shocked when I have realized, how is the time passes? My first semester, just goes like failure! I can still remember what I promised before I came here, I want to get higher distinction in all my subjects; however, I failed to do it! How weak am I? I have been lazier and lazier after I have been in Kuala Lumpur!

Louis ®

Never Get Better

2009-07-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

Life is getting stressful, what we should do, what we should not do? There is only two weeks left to our final examination, everyone is striving for their good! Everyone gets stressed out like that:

Essentially, college's life is not difficult as what I thought before. College's life is much easier than secondary school, if the students study accordingly. However, as a "normal" human being, we are usually indolent, we always do last minute work. Moreover, we will never feel stress when the time is still long, we will only get mad when the last minute comes!

It is time for me to do my reading again. Busy life!

Louis ®

move, a secret

2009-07-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

I might not be appeared oftenly in this blog anymore.. Because I have another blog for me to write.. The blog is all about her.. If you guys are professional in tracking, just try to track it~

今天

2009-07-07T02:59:00.000-07:00

去年的今天是我一生人最难忘的日子，我永远都无法忘记7/7/2008，11.41pm。这个时候、这个时间是我和我前女友在一起的日期、时间。又是今天，我在学院里遇到了一个跟我前女友一模一样的女生，她的声音、脸蛋、眼睛、嘴巴、发型，全都一模一样，我好怕我会爱上她。她实在是太像我的前女友了！只是不同的是，她大过后者一岁。

致：亲爱的启慈
今天，只有我记得，你也忘了！真是的！你啊，跟你的男朋友在一起就要好好地对待他，不要乱吃醋、嫌三嫌四。7/7/2008，11.41pm-25/11/2008，11.26pm是我觉得我这一生里最幸福的日子，所以这段日子发生的事情，我是一生难忘。虽然在之前的部落格我写了我爱某些人，但是我跟她相处越久，我发现我越来越不能爱她，原来我只是喜欢她而已！原来你才是唯一能够让我爱上的人。世界上如果能够两情相悦的东西就好了，那我爱你、你也爱我，不过那是不可能的。
“如果天再让我选择，我宁愿选择我不曾认识你，你对我好，可是我辜负你、让你伤心！”这是那时分手时你对我说过的话，你应该忘了吧？笨猪！嘻嘻~现在我又遇到和你一模一样的女生出现，我没有勇气了~你要还我勇气来！嘻嘻~开玩笑啦~你要努力读书哦~SPM就要到了~生意就别做，SPM是一生人一次的东西，生意就留在SPM过后再做吧~还有，你要过得开开心心哦，这是我以前、现在、以后都要你答应我的事情。

天秤座与水瓶座的邂逅

2009-07-01T03:01:00.000-07:00

认识你是在初中,第一次看见你是在初二。那时的我，已经被你的美丽所打动！没想到，到了初三-我们竟然分在同一个班；更没有想到的是，你就坐在我下张桌！以后，和你相处的时间长了。大家都对对方那么信任和了解，我也发现我自己喜欢上你了！可是，当时的你是那么优秀-我也没有勇气和你表白！我以为，我会把这个秘密一直留在自己心里面。可是，有一天聪明的你还是发现了我的秘密。后来，你拒绝了我。不过，我不怪你-因为她是那么的优秀，我是那么的平凡！再后来，我和你变成了很好的朋友！高中，我们又在同一个学校读书！我们很是象以前那样，做好朋友-虽然，学校里大家认为我和你在恋爱！可是，只有我们才明白有些事是不可能的！高二，我问她有没有一首歌让她想起我。她说：没有！我的心，第一次知道什么叫心痛！高三时，当她告诉我-她也爱我时，我是多么高兴啊！可是，我真的好累好累！如果，你早一天和我是说你是喜欢我的。也许，我们就能在一起了！可是，我们还是错过了！以前是你拒绝我，到现在是我拒绝了你！现在，大学了-我们终于不可能在同一学校读书了！我也终于不能在你身边时时照顾她了，现在你也有男朋友了-我真你高兴！因为，终于有一个爱你，你也爱的人照顾你了！

　　你是水瓶座的女孩子，也是个爱哭的女孩子。星座书上说，当水瓶座遇到天平座-100%会在一起！我看是：当水瓶座遇到天平座-100%会有缘没份！为什么你就是那个水瓶座的女孩呢？也许，有些事真的是上天注定了的吧！
祝福你水瓶座的女孩！

要是回去没有止痛药水，可惜你真的是水瓶座！！！

Midnight

2009-06-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

It is 12am, my brain is still conscious. After I read my buddies's blog, unbearable pain comes from my deeply heart, why they wrote their blog in sense of sadness? My buddies, you all have written down your blog sadly, I would like to follow too! Unfortunately, today I am in happy status! Guys and girl are making their relationship become more complicated, why do they intend to do so? Besides that, girl is becoming more and more randomly already, she is just simply touched by guys and she has never resist. I am an old fashion guy, so I am too difficult to agree with what are the guys and girls doing nowadays. They can simply kiss each other in a game, they can simply touch each other although they are not in love, they can simply hug each other even thought they are not a couple. I totally oppose these, I cannot agree to them althought many people said that these things are very normal nowadays. Maybe this is my principle, is my concept, I think that a kiss, a hug should give to the one who you love, it is not simply giving to others. I am very tired, but I must study my moral because I will be sitting for moral quiz on tomorrow! I, a college's scholar, feel stressful at all the times, so I do not want to fall in love first, why they can use their precious time to do something that is not relevant to their studies? Tired, I cannot tolerate from the sleepy "bug" already! I have to sleep first, good night everyone~ I wish you all will be happy and have a nice tomorrow! Constantly nice tomorrow!

Happiness

2009-06-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

I am so happy today because I feel that she is also in well-being status.. It is enough for me to see her in smiling face, enough. He is a good person, a good man, she can fall in love with him. I am different, I cannot make any promises or swears to her because I scare that I cannot accomplish the promises. However, I think that he, he can accomplish it to her. I have also realized that I cannot be there for her anymore, for someone has been there for her already. I wish her happiness will always follow her, does not leave her.

Everyone was asking me why every guys are falling in love with that girl? I answered them, this is a feeling, love a girl does not need a reason to define it.. Now, I understand why every guys are falling in love with that girl already. Every guys are falling in love with that girl because she is a optimist and some kind of special girl who can totally attracts guys easily.
In addition, she is bewildered and stupid for sometimes, maybe these are the special characteristics of her that the guys like.

Love, what is it exactly? Love is a compelling concept, and one that can not easily be defined in words. Love can be defined as a feeling of intense desire and attraction towards a person with one whom is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. Yet, how do we set out and explain that? Everyone has a different view on the concept of love, however, no matter how they differ, everyone does experience love at some point in their life. Love can make us do things that we never believed were possible, or right, or good. Love breeds obsession, and is bred from obsession. It breeds desire, and is bred from desire. When a person says "I love you" to another, the recipient of such a compliment cannot always be sure what is meant. Too often, filled with high minded thoughts of angels and God, the person imagines by speaking the word "love" he means something noble. Meanwhile, his intentions may well be motivated by a part of the body instead of soul.

How can I talk to myself, "Hey, stop yourself from love a girl!"? It is the futility of my attempts. Love will only bring cruel to people, it does not bring happiness to people.

棋..笨蛋..

2009-06-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

棋，我到底是个重色还是重友的家伙？看到爱的人被别的人喜欢，我就止步了...我甚至一句话都不敢跟那个女生说，好没用。可是当我有女朋友时，我的朋友都说我重色轻友。真的，我可以记得女朋友的每一件东西，我爱的人的每一样事情，直到我可以忘了我姓什么、几时生日。

前几天，有人看到一本书，封面写着，“我爱一个自己觉得值得被爱的人”。这一句话，另我深深地想起我的前女友...我到现在还不能忘记她的生日，甚至连她的生日的时间我还是难以忘记。我们相遇的日期、从相遇到现在的每一件事情、相爱的天数，深深地印在我的心里。她在分手那天对我说：“我们距离太远了，你是个好男生。我不值得你爱...”可能那本书的那句话是对的吧？

永远把爱情摆在第一位的我，被爱情伤得遍体鳞伤还是相信真爱。我做了很多心理测验，全部都是“你把爱情摆在第一位”之类的说明。

现在，我看到我爱的人被几个人喜欢（我并没有证据，怀疑而已），我已经不敢去跟她说话了...我怕如果我靠近她，那些喜欢她的人会不要跟我好...我也觉得我配不上她，我..好失败，从没有一件事情能做到完美...我一直想做一个理想情人，所以在我当别人的男友时，我想尽方法对她好，不跟她吵架，当她失落时，安慰她、当她生气时，听她哭诉、当她开心时，和她分享。（妹妹，我有没有尽责哦？）但是，我并不能当一个理想情人，因为我不能挽留她。自卑..自卑..

我只能每天晚上睡觉前，对着天空说一句，许愿：祝她永远幸福与快乐。我觉得只要她快乐，我就很幸福，我只能够为她做这些东西。我没有金城武的脸孔，我没有Rain的身材，我没有周杰伦的才华，我没有Bill Gates的富有，我什么都没有，所以我不能证明什么给她看。我只能够看着她那张微笑的脸，让我觉得很幸福。

友情失败，爱情失败，考试也失败。

By 失败的棋

panic mid-term examination, ENDED

2009-06-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

4 days trip of mid-term examination, eventually, it ended! However, I must be studying hard still because after the mid-term examination, my college doesn't have any holidays!! (it's bad) Everyone said that I am mad while they had been watching Transformer 2, for I watched Transformer 2 twice on the 24th and 25th of June! After they have watched Transformer 2, their mindset has changed, some of them still want to watch one more time, some of them said they wasn't fascinated by the movie!!!!!! Gush!! Especially the stupid Nicole~~ Argh!! Everyone in this globe, in this world, they have been in a very long queue just for that movie, Transformer 2, no matter is boy or girl.. Urrrrggh!! I am really speechless~

In the end of the story, Megatron hasn't been defeated yet, so I think that, Transformer 3 is coming also, but it will be after 2 years or 3 years or more.. I have titled the sequel to this movie is "Transformer 3 - Vengeance of Megatron" Hahahahahaha!! I think that I am really in the state of madness already... (=>.<=)

Yoong Sze, you are a good girl, I am a bad guy because I still not perfect~ ^^
I will help you to release yourself from the shadow, the laceration of love is difficult to be cured.. (Looks like I am a professor of love) Haha~

still two more days

2009-06-22T01:53:00.000-07:00

My mid-term examination still two more days to go..
I was sitting for study skills paper just now, that paper is easier than I thought, but it was still a little bit tough.. I will be sitting for Finite Mathematics paper tomorrow, which is the simplest subject for me, so I can be typing here..

I want to let the whole world to know about my feeling towards you..

I love you

You are the most important, major, significant person for me.. I also aware that I have no chance to be your love, I am too cowardly already.. Also, I cannot promise anything to you, I can only wish you to be joyful, happy, happiness at all the times.. If and only if, I sleep on the deathbed accidentally, what will you feel? I just aware that, we must grasp the opportunity for us to love tightly.. I do not want to let myself regret, I must let you know my feeling.. "You" are [my love]~ I do not want to let whole world know who is she first, I just want to let whole world know my feeling towards her~

My love, I will wait for you, I will be there for you!

KFC-ing~

2009-06-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

AR!! Alvis有病啊！！写一个留言也像一篇文章，真是个大作家咯！Nicole，只要你愿意忘记过去，爱情是绝对存在的！你也常叫我要忘记过去失败的友情，为什么你就不能忘记过去的爱情呢？我是个比较单细胞的动物，我是永远相信这个世界上是有真爱的！虽然爱情不是一分耕耘，一分收获，甚至是多分耕耘，没有收获，但是我依然对爱情从不死心！我也尝试过两个非常失败的爱情，但是我并没有被打倒…我是相信世界上有人会为你付出，爱你，但不求回报的，这个时候就是你的真爱来了。你的那个真爱是会永远包容你、宠爱你，甚至企图把你宠坏，他会不论受你的多少气都在所不惜，他还会笨到每天睡觉前都对上天许愿要你每天都过得开心和幸福。因为当他看到你幸福，他就会觉得很快乐，他看到你伤心，他也会心疼…他是个只会默默在你身旁守护的天使，他是个比你父母亲更爱你的人，他也是个全世界唯一一个这样爱你的人。曾经有人对我说，月老是不会直接注定两个人的缘份，月老只会帮真心相爱的情侣系上红线。所以，缘份不是等的，而是要争取的…就算失败了也不要气馁，这样的爱情，月老才会帮你和他系上红线…我希望你能天天开心，笑口常开，幸福快乐。

Stupid Nicole! Herng!!

2009-06-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

你害我哭了整整半个小时…发那种短信息很好玩哦？我已经确定了我心里的感觉，你对我是很重要的！我决不原谅你，如果你离开我们的话…这是我第二次用电话写blOg…还真麻烦，打字有点慢…今天父亲节了，我打了三四通电话回家都没人接，难道我的爹地和妈咪谈恋爱去了？！本来还想要祝爹地父亲节快乐的，算了吧！晚上再打电话回家看看…考试的生活还真辛苦呢…我发现到了！从第一天我来到这里，就是每天在考试了！大学生活真的不是普通人能过的，压力超大的！肚子好饿，怎么AlViS还没到啊？好不准时……

Anyone Of Us

2009-06-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

I've been letting you down, down
Girl I know I've been such a fool
Giving in to temptation
When I should've played it cool
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand

[chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break'
cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break'
cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake

She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should've known
She must have altered my senses'
cause I offered to walk her home
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand

[chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break'
cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break'
cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake

A stupid mistake
She means nothing to me(nothing to me)
I swear every word is true
Don't wanna lose you

For the one I love the most, wish you to be joyful all the time!

对不起...

2009-06-17T01:38:00.000-07:00

对不起，我的朋友：Bryant和Glady。我...发觉到我越来越不敢跟你们说话了。我感到我很自卑、幼稚、低级...比起你们...我没有做好我的本分，我有时候真的觉得I am not belonging to this group。我根本没有勇气跟你们说话了。当早上有人发短信给我说我们永远在你身边时，在那一瞬间，我看见了一丝丝的光明，但随后我有陷入黑暗了。我实在是....不配...

这个故事，只有Cherry知道，但我想公开给全部我的朋友看，我想诚实点...

在我以前学校时期，我对朋友是有话就说，很诚恳的友谊关系。我们可以每天在一起玩、吃饭、讨论功课、互相学习...我们对彼此都很交心，因为就是那种朋友在一起的时候的感觉很舒服。开心是伤心的源头，当我把我的心全都交给朋友时，我的灾难来了。其中一个朋友竟然把我的秘密宣传出去，还怂恿其他我的朋友不要和我在一起（我猜而已，因为自从那件事后，朋友们渐渐远离我）。从那时开始，不再有人可以和我谈，他们都给了我一种背叛的感觉。没关系，我那时都在想我到底做错了什么，我好想挽救回关系，可是没有用了。那时，有我一个最死党的朋友，告诉我，我并没有错，只是他们觉得那样而已（因为有一个人散播谣言）。虽然那时起我知道错不在我，但我一点都不想去解释，因为在我们的concept：解释=掩饰。随后，我就陷入黑暗的世界里，我终日一个人解决任何问题，我告诉我自己：我不可以再相信朋友了！那时起，我每天只睡三、四个钟头。我终日对着电脑，一个人读书，也把自己完全封闭，见到“朋友”只说“hi”。直到过后，我认识到一个很要好的朋友，他把我的心锁解开。他是我重见光明的朋友，他让我再认识到几个很好的朋友，从那时起，我的开心幸福的感觉又回来了。但那些朋友过后都没有什么和我在一起了，因为我不是他们的班的...我又再次陷入孤独状况...我一直都觉得我一定有做错东西，所以他们离开了我。过后，我认识了一个女生，她让我完完全全爱上她。我也把我全部的心摆在她那里，可是过后还是逃不过被人说离开的命运。不过她说我是个好男孩，我可以遇到更好的...在我爱她时，她并不爱我...

当我把我的心交给朋友时，我就逃不开被抛离的命运。
当我把我的心交给爱的人时，我也逃不开分手的命运。

现在，我要再赌一局，我对你们诚实，我要把我的心声告诉给你们听。让天决定我的命运...
我真的很害怕一个人孤孤独独的，但是因为被人抛离的次数太多了，我也变得不大会说话了。对不起，我只能会用写的，让你们了解我的内心深处。

愿我的朋友们，开开心心。愿我现在最爱的人，永远永远幸福与快乐。

if you were the lead of the story, what would you do?

2009-06-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

Steven, a boy who can't get any belief from his friends, but he is lazy to explain it because explaining is a very fake thing for him.. One day, he found a true friend who called as Paul, Paul understood him.. Paul was trying to help him, but Steven just didn't want to get any help from Paul.. Steven told Paul: "I rather be alone if there is nobody believes me, I don't want to explain to anyone, as the God can see, that is enough for me." Paul felt very guilty after he heard Steven, but Paul couldn't do anything..

Although Steven told Paul to not to help him, he was still want to let his friends to know about the truth.. Steven realized that if he didn't make any explanation, he would be expired from the group.. He was getting more pressure by passing one and one day after.. He was thinking: "What should I do?"

Give some comments for this story~

Unique feeling

2009-06-16T04:24:00.000-07:00

This is my special feeling, unique feeling whose I have never had before.. When I looked into her eyes, at that moment, I have handed over my heart to her! She felt sorrow today, subsequently I am deeply grieved too.. I am a silly fool, I do not know how to console her to make her feels better, I do not know.. Besides, I have realized that I love her until put my entire faith in her already..

它，形容我得真好。

2009-06-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

選擇青鳥的你靈魂顏色：藍色個性：總是過度壓抑圓滑，內斂，聰明而富有交際手腕，是藍色靈魂最美最高貴的人格呈現。總是知道自己要做什麼，總是有一套清楚的生命版本在心中，藍色靈魂常為了達到目標，而壓抑自我情緒，只為了要呈現最完整及完美的狀態。有時這也造成了藍色靈魂感到些許悲傷及對事物的冷漠，因為在幽默風趣的外在表現下，其實內心最深處的孤獨感是沒人能明白的。

黑暗的世界，渐渐覆盖了我...

2009-06-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

黑暗的世界，好可爱，它把我拉进去了。可能我现在很消极，所以我才会觉得黑暗是多么的可爱。我渐渐投入了那个世界，它也渐渐覆盖了我。我是一个没有朋友的家伙，让我觉得黑暗还是适合我。黑暗让我觉得很舒服，它覆盖了我眼前的视线，它让我封锁起我开朗的心。它让我觉得，孤独作战是正确的。我觉得它..很适合我，我也让它渐渐地融入我的生活。我不再有亲切的笑容、我不再有开心的一面、我不再有心思的玩笑，我只有一颗想越变越强的心。黑暗的无情，我选择了你，你让我了解，世界上，能力才是一切。所谓的真心只是假意，所谓的喜欢只是讨厌，所谓的支持只是虚情，所谓的爱根本不存在！除了我自己，其他人都是敌人，他们永远都不会帮助我，他们永远都只是想要胜过我。为了生存在这个世界上，我必须越战越强！黑暗的世界，我好怀念你，当我十四岁时，我也曾经在你的世界里生活。那种感觉实在是太棒了！那时，你教了我世间无情，但我不会理解它，所以在我十七岁时，我才会爱一个女生到最终伤害了自己。不过，这一个伤害不会刺伤我的心灵！这一个伤害让我更理解，你对人好，人不会对你好。一分耕耘，没有收获。

恶魔的一目
黑色，是恶魔最爱的颜色，我越来越爱黑色了。以前的我只是为了逃避黑暗才喜欢白色，现在的我已经变了！黑暗的世界才是我生存的世界！黑色，你是全世界最美丽的颜色！

Be there for you

2009-06-14T08:14:00.001-07:00

Yoong Sze, don't be sad anymore.. I will support you, I will be there for you, always..

Eighteen years ago, a princess arrived to this world. Until her 14 years old, she fell in love with a bad guy.. They loved each other for 47 months, it was long.. However, the guy dropped the girl alone because the guy falls in love with another girl.. There's another guy, who is waiting for the princess silently, he knows that he cannot love with that Princess because the princess is too noble already.. But, he just can't stop loving the princess..

He realized that, the princess already scared to be loved because she can't come out from the shadow already.. And the princess is still loving the bad guy although the bad guy doesn't love the princess anymore.. The princess lives in shadow of love, she is trying to get herself out from the shadow.. Unfortunately, how hard she tried, she just can't get herself out from the shadow.. She felt so hardship, in this time, the guy who loves her was supporting her..
(To be continued / Not to be continued 'base on the lead')

Happy birthday to you! Yoong Sze, must be happy all the time!

亲爱的，别伤心了。

2009-06-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

当你打电话给我的时候，我真的是吓了一跳。以前你都很少打电话给我的，现在突然间打电话给我，我一听到你的声音时，我就知道你很伤心了。可是我这个笨蛋根本不会安慰人，我不知道应该说什么让你开心还是觉得舒服。虽然我不能够在你身边陪着你，但是我会在精神上支持你、安慰你。我已经是第三次听到你哭了，我很怕你哭，所以我们在一起时，我都一直让你开心，支持你。现在，我不能一直成为你的开心果了，毕竟我已经不是你的男朋友了，而且我也不会了。我这个笨哥哥，真是的。

妹妹，我对你还是有爱，就像你以前一直对我说的，兄妹的爱。以前我很爱你时，我好想好想一直保护你，每次有节日时都送一些礼物给你，让你有小惊喜，或者是写一封信给你。这样的我，是不是太宠你了呢？让你说跟我没有感觉的原因“可能”就是我们没有吵过架。如果一对情侣一定要有吵架这个过程才是情侣，很怪吧。还是我太宠你了，让你觉得我好像一个哥哥。不过，这些都没关系了，已经过去了。现在，还有很长的路等着我。

时间是很残忍的，让我差点不敢去面对时间的改变。不过，我已经了解了，我知道我应该做什么，我不应该做什么。虽然现在我很爱一个女生，我也知道要对一个女生有真正的感觉也是很难的，但是我还是觉得读书比较重要。毕竟我不是一个很聪明的学生，我不能双方面同时进行。

我已经越来越孤独了，隐形果然比较适合我。虽然孤独是很恐怖的，但我这个很难交朋友的人是必须去面对它。

原来开心那么简单

原来开心可以那么简单。当我遇到任何问题时，我就会变得很不开心，就算给我看好笑的综艺节目，我也只是笑，并不是开心。原来我的开心的来源就是想象幸福的感觉。现在，当我不开心时，我就会闭上眼睛，思考着。尤其是晚上，我很爱看着那黑黑的天空，在那里一个人傻笑，这就是我的开心吧。所以人家不知道的还以为我要自杀了（因为我都是在高高的地方看着天空的）。天空有给我一种很莫名的感觉，天空让我感到很温暖。

不开心的一天。

2009-06-12T23:02:00.000-07:00

有时候，我不知道我是一个开朗的人还是悲观的人。还是我有两面？最近学院的东西让我越来越认真，我几乎越来越少开玩笑了。可能在我的内心深处觉得，我已经长大了，我不可以再像以前中学时期这样蹦蹦跳跳了。在这里，我认识到不同的人，但我都觉得他们和我不是很能聊。只有一个...

自从我上了学院后，我觉得我的程度实在是很差很差，我好怕我不能跟上别人，这里有很多人都很厉害读书。在学院时，我只是嘴巴大常常说：“很简单罢了，很简单罢了！”其实，我觉得很难，我今天也体验到那种感觉了，这种感觉令我又成长了一些。我的脑，应该没有两三天的时间去处理，它是不会冷静下来。

妈咪，我会尽我最大的努力地去读书，就算要我一天睡一个小时也在所不惜。我实在是太差了，我不想让妈咪失望。

以前，有人问我：“如果天赐你一样特异能力，你会选什么？”以前，我会选瞬间移动，现在，我会选择隐形吧。我现在的处境就是一个隐形人，这也是我的错，我变得很怪了，所以全部人当我是隐形的。

我很怕一个人，但有时我被逼选择一个人生存。一个人让我感觉到很恐怖，但我觉得我一定要不去害怕，友情的定义在我心中已经是越来越模糊了，还是一个人独立比较好。

Lapse into Snare of Affection

2009-06-10T05:38:00.000-07:00

I realized that I have touched my genuineness to a girl already. That girl impressed me most favorably. She is just like a type of girl who is very talkactive and funny, sometimes she is like a childish girl, but her behaviour is fascinating me. I also know that I should not love her because we will not have any chances, that was what she told me. However, how can I control my feeling? How can I tell myself or force myself to stop my love to you?

*I Love You*

My first time took LRT and Public Bus to college~

2009-05-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

It was a good experience for me, my first time took LRT and Public Bus to college..
Although it took an hour or more than that, I didn't feel tired or anything, for I think driving a motorcycle is more dangerous than LRT and Public Bus..

*YEAH*

I have bought a Touch N Go card already! I can go to college much easier than before, I need not to wait for buying a ticket.. RM20 for a Touch N Go..

All my friend said that my eyes' rims have been darker, what I can do? I must study, and all the presentations, assignments, quizzes come together, I have no much of times.. My English is also like a standard 1 level, damn simple English.. I realized that is the time for me to do more readings!!

*GUSH!*

I have learnt a lot~

2009-05-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

I am so happy today, I have learnt a lot of things after I went out with Glady~
I learned how to take the LRT to any place~ We had gone to Timesquare for the Starbucks!!

Hurrrh!!!

We also went to Metroview Condominium before we went back to home~ We have posted some information and house wanted paper on the bulletin board already, I hope that I can move in early!!

Argh!!!!!

My quizzes all are coming, I have to commit suicide soon... The all things are giving me pressure, lots of pressure, made me can't breath!!

First grouping to One Utama

2009-05-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

私たちOne Utamaに金曜日に行った

We went to One Utama on Friday (22/5/2009).
That was my first time to One Utama, I felt electrofied when I went out with my friends. However, I was different, I don't know what happened too. I think is because of I was too serious thinking about my assignment.

We had watched Night in the Museum before we went for shopping. That movie is quite funny but meaningless at all. I feel guilty because I am a indolent boy, compare to my form 5 life, I became more lazy. I must be more diligent!!!

To: 私の美しい妹

やあ!Apologize for not sending you any message, you have been a mature girl already, don't do anything that naively like before. You are so pretty, just like a princess when wore those fashion clothes. Your examination has begun, as a brother, I wish you can get nice result in the examination. College life is so electrofying! You must work harder to achieve what you planned! I believe you can do it! I have joined Chinese Cultural Society last Thursday. Actually at the first I intended to join Japanese Culture Club, but I noticed that the club is not so active like Chinese Cultural Society, so I have chosen Chinese Cultural Society~ Sister, I have to do my assignment, bye~ Next time I will post something for you~

Challenging Life~

2009-05-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

It's a challenging life of being a college student!

First: I must manage my financial
Second: I must take note by myself
Third: I must take care about my health

I knew a lot of friends from other states and other countries!

New life, New challenges, New friends, New fashion!!!

2009-03-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

I am so happy~~ I just spent RM314.50 to buy 2 jeans, 3 T-shirts, 1 casual shoes~~ So happy~~

(Because that was all discounted) ^^ Haha!! Those all things for my University's life and my parents awarded for me because I achieved 6As in my SPM (quite low ya :-))

There's only a month left, the university life is welcoming me!! I am quite scare, RM500 per month... I don't know how I spend my money, 1 day two meals only, lunch and dinner... *faint* Damansara there, all the price is high~~ Drinking money, money vampire!!! Terrible T.T However, I must go there to study because I love psychology and Help University is the only one university top in Malaysia about this course...... Never mind la, I will just hardship for these few years, afterward I come out look for a job then won't become so hardship already~ Hehe~~

Argh!! I am sick now~ Became a patient already~ I am very very very hate to be a patient because I can't go anywhere while I am sick and I can't eat anything that I like/love to eat~ However, these few days I was thinking about my future, my university's life, how I enjoy in my coming university's life~

Actually, I am loving someone, she doesn't know about it~ I think we can't have a happy ending~ Therefore, I kept this love in my heart, locked up already....~~

I visited to my dream University - Help University College. I like the environment around there!! Love it!! It's only 1 more month left, I can continue my studies in Help University College~ The University life is expected!!!!!! However, my English is not good enough..... (=T.T=) I am scaring that I can't follow the class....... I like the Help Residence too, it provides a good study environment!

It's time to take a thorough erase about our love story...

2009-03-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

Bells, apologize for triggered the disturbances to you last few months..
I should be erase the love memories in my mind earlier..
Because supposing that I forget you, I can survive easier..
But, sometimes we met true love, it's totally different..

However, it's a right timing to erase it, my failed love......

I would like to embrace and dwell in my prospective life, and many challenges are welcoming me.. Good Bye, my love.. It was locked in my heart..

Today, SPM result was shown..
I would like to expect and confront with the unexpected, but the fearless and independent is more than difficult than I can ever think!!!!!!!

I expected 8As.. For the people who more As than me, so sorry, my aimed was low ya..
But, I get 6As only.. Cried whole day...... Unhappy!!

However, my dad and mum was very happy and said wanna supply me go to Singapore to study.. Hmm... It's a good choice too, but I worry about them, their financial is not very ideal..

Ok la, I have no mood today... My writing until here.. (=T.T=)
Bye~ Wish all the people good luck all the day!!!!!!

伤心的一天...

2009-02-04T01:08:00.000-08:00

没有了她的生活：
11am-起床然后躺在床上...
12pm-人家叫吃午餐，我还不要吃...
1pm-午餐没了，肚子超饿，死忍...看着电视机（不知有没有看电视的节目，满脑子都是她）
2pm-妈咪起来骂人了，讲我整天不吃做神仙啊...骂足足一个小时...
3pm-甘愿了，去冲凉、刷牙，下去找东西吃，有啥就吃啥...
3.30pm-在家太闷了..出去玩..（好颓废的生活）
8.30pm-玩完了，甘愿回家了...
8.45pm-又被骂了，“人家晚餐六点吃！你晚餐不用吃！做神仙啊？！”
9.00pm-人家的宵夜，我的晚餐...
9.30pm-看着墙壁..发呆（想着她）
4.00am-想到累了..睡觉（又梦到她）

之前，有她的生活：
7am-起床、盥洗
7.30am-做运动
8.30am-吃早餐
9am-看书（激励书）
11.30am-冲凉
12pm-吃午餐
1pm-在店里看报纸、帮小忙
3pm-睡个午觉
6pm-吃晚餐
7pm-在店里做工
10pm-做完工、冲凉
11pm-睡觉

她就像我的灵魂，没了她的生活，就只剩下我这个躯壳，活着也是行尸走肉般。
有时，我会想些更好笑的东西，自杀是不好的（因为自杀的人没得轮回），那我就常想，干脆车祸、一把刀不小心插进我的心。这样死死掉...
有时，我有胡思乱想，想他有可能以后真的会喜欢回我..
不过，我知道要他喜欢回我，是不可能的了...
他以后会遇到新的男生，一定会比我对他更好，他的条件那么好，我一点也配不起他。
虽然我这样想，但是我还是像个傻瓜想要一直等着他回头。
如果有一天，我会在他的生命中永远消失，他应该只会掉几滴眼泪，或者不会掉眼泪，那我想也有道理，因为我在他心中根本是一只蚂蚁的地位而已。

如果有一天，他在我生命中消失，我想我会痛哭很久很久到不知道时间。

我对他说过我会把我生命中全部的东西都给他...
我那时那样说了，我不会后悔，也不会反悔。
为了他，做一切牺牲都是值得的。
不知他有知道我的心意吗？
我想他应该不会知道，就算知道也不要接受，因为我根本不是他喜欢的人。
一个女生会接受男生的牺牲是因为那个女生喜欢那个男生...

可能从一开始，他跟我拍拖也是因为我对他好而已，他并不爱我吧...
是我把脚踏进陷阱里的...

好伤心...没心情...只能把一切写在博客。

肥嘟嘟了...惨惨惨！

2009-02-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

唉哟！我的脸...一个新年一过，我的脸肥去啦！！！
现在肥嘟嘟咯~妹妹说我可爱... 真是的！肥哪里可爱？

我又不是女生，男生肥都不可爱啊！
唉哟唉哟！！！麻烦....要keep fit了...
要练gym了..我以前练的muscle全都变成油了，现在要练回来那些硬硬的muscle...

情人节你不给我下去陪你过...哎...这样我会很想你嘢！
没办法啦，情人节那天你的学校有补课...麻烦咯...

今天晚上要拜天公哦..欢迎那些神回来~~(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

妹妹，你要看我肥嘟嘟的照片哦..我不拍照的，我自己拍自己会把我自己拍得很丑..
所以，对不起啦~下次我给你看我真正的脸~还让你亲呢~(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

妹妹..我会一直等着你..等到你回头的那天为止..

新年了...

2009-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

今年的新年，真是的...
红包缩水、工钱缩水...惨惨惨！
去年红包钱都会有RM800，可是今年只有RM300...
缩了很多吧？
启慈，我好想你哦！

情人节就快到了，好期待哦！
2月14号... 要怎样庆祝呢？
我会给她一个惊喜吧~

期待的是，要去一个地方我完全不认识的..是有点怕怕，但为了她~还是ok啦~
彭亨，lipis是一个我很有兴趣，又陌生的地方~

新年真的有点闷...每天出夜街~真是的！
没有五点不睡觉，好好料！每天给妈咪讲讲讲！
讲到我头都要爆了~~~ 哈哈！
嗯，启慈好厉害哦！会听声音就分辨出一个人有没有喝酒~
我不喝酒了~只是那天被人灌而已~没办法啦~你别生气嘛~
我答应你下次再也不喝酒~ 好吗？ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

好吧，下次再写新的~掰掰

心锁，等待解封...

2009-01-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

我终于肯真正的放手了。我终于肯叫启慈一声“妹妹”了。
虽然我知道我这样叫他我会很伤心、很痛苦，但是既然他都已经对我说他要我做他的哥哥。
如果他叫我哥哥的话，他会开心，那我就算痛苦一生也不是问题。
我已经把我一生的开心包成礼物送给启慈妹妹了，我只希望他会开心一生。
启慈，你问我：“如果有一天我后悔没跟你，你会要重新接受我吗？”
我一定会回答你：“我一定接受你的！我也会等你的！”
我从今天起我不会再对你说“我爱你”了，我也不会胡思乱想了。
我会把我们的过去、爱情，还有这份感情永远锁在我心里。
直到你接受我的那天我才把它封锁。

或许，我以后可能会遇到另一个伴侣，但我想我对他的感觉怎样都比不上你。
你在我心里的地位越来越高了...
我常说、我常想，时间能够冲淡一切。
但是我觉得原来是相反的！
时间越长，我对启慈的感情就越浓、越深。
时间能够冲淡一切原来是骗人的。

启慈，你常叫我去找一个新的伴侣。
我想我很难很难去找新的了，因为我不想你在我面前说别的女生。
因为从我第一天遇到你开始，我的满脑子里只有你一个人。
所以，我拜托你，你别在我面前说别的女生。

启慈，我曾对你说过哥哥会等你的。
一秒、一分、一时、一天、一月、一年、十年、百年，我还是会等你的。

等待时机，一切随缘。

2009-01-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

4.1.2009
我打电话给启慈，她跟我说她爱我，但不是男女朋友的爱，是兄妹的爱。
或许我对她很好，让她感觉我是她哥哥。
她跟我说，她好想叫我哥哥，但我说不可以。
因为我知道一旦她叫我哥哥，我们以后就很难在一起了。
启慈，我好想吻你，但不是吻你的额头，是吻你的脸颊。
你告诉我吻额头是兄妹吻，我不想要兄妹吻，我要吻你的脸颊。
我要的是男女朋友的吻，可以吗？
我好爱你！

7.1.2009
我的亲爱的妈咪进医院了，我好担心她。
幸好她没什么事情，只是过后不能拿重东西和要天天做物理治疗。
我的妈咪真的很辛苦，我看得出来，但我不知道要怎么去安慰她。
我也替她担心而已......
看完了妈咪，我去了师父那里问事，我问缘分。
师父真的很灵，他说了我跟启慈的关系很准。
师父吩咐我在2009年及2010年不可去人家办丧事的地方。
还有，师父说缘分的就随缘等待时机吧。
最后师父还说我的缘分是没问题的，叫我不用担心。
我是绝对相信师父的，因为他真的很灵。
那我只要等待时机，那我和启慈不就能再次相爱咯....
好开心哦，启慈，我永远爱你！

8.1.2009
启慈，你真的是一个很厉害的女孩。
你常常说我厉害，其实你才厉害呢。
世界上没有你这样好的女孩了，有机会认识你，是我一生中最大的荣幸。
你又美、又可爱、又善良、又体贴、又会做包、又会煮菜、又会煮面、又会日语、又会手语、又会打扫。
像你这样的女孩，我真的不知道去哪里才能找的到。
如果要给你评分，我给你的分数是120%...
因为你实在是太完美了！
我还问你我是一个几分的男孩，你给我的评分是79%...
我那时好奇怪，我问你我的剩下21%在哪里。
你告诉我，等你成为我的男朋友才给你那21%...
嘻嘻，原来如此...要成为你的男朋友才能100%哦...
那就算我是一个很烂的男孩也好，成为你的男朋友最少也有21%咯？

我真的好期待我们的时机到来，你也好期待。
但现在我们的时机还没到吧？嘻嘻。
不然我们也不会分手啦...
不用紧，我会一直等着你的！
我会等你吃我这棵回头草的！
我永远爱你！

陈启慈，我要好好珍惜你。

2009-01-04T00:42:00.000-08:00

最近我发生了一些意外，幸好没有任何伤害。
自从发生了这件意外后，我发现到生命可以很坚强，也可以很软弱。
或许有可能我会再发生一些意外，就这样死去。
可能走到半路，一个花瓶打在我头上，就这样死去。
人的生命就是这样软弱，可能我会在一分钟后就死去。
这样的事情我们是无法预料的。
所以，我了解了一些东西。
在我有生之年，我一定要珍惜身边的每一个人。
我的家人、朋友、亲戚，尤其是你：启慈。
启慈，在我们分手前，我以为我已经很体谅你，很了解你。
但原来不是这样的，我对你还不够好。
在分手后，我一直在反省，我会尽我的力量对你最好。
你在家里已经有很多的压力了，考试又有压力，我应该更加体谅、体贴、关心、了解你。
可是分手前的我只每天和你谈情说爱，原来爱情不是谈情说爱就是很好的。
分手后，我了解到，一个爱情应该是互相认识、互相了解、互相珍惜、互相体贴、互相包容及相爱。
但我也发现到分手前我只做到相爱及互相认识而已。
直到前几天，我发生了一件差点令我失去生命的意外后。
我发现到我一定要好好地珍惜你，陈启慈。
我对你许下很多的承诺，那些承诺，我会一件件的去做。
我也会尽快去做，我不希望我死之前我还做不好那些承诺。
我也会好好地珍惜你。
启慈，不知是和你在一起多了，我觉得我最近也变得心软了。
看到需要帮忙的，我也要去帮忙的。
我永远爱你，陈启慈。

再见2008年.....

2009-01-02T04:45:00.000-08:00

2009年到来了，真的有点舍不得2008年.....
2008年，我遇到了一个让我觉得我可以真心去爱的女生。
在5月24日这天，我和她第一次相遇，从我遇到她第一眼的感觉就是，一见钟情。
我从来没有对过一个女生这样子，或许他就是我要找的真正女友吧....
他让我感觉到爱是怎样的，他也让我想好好的去疼爱他。
到了5月26日那天，我们要分开了。
那天，我在想：我们的距离是那么的遥远，或许我回家了我就会慢慢的忘记他。
好吧...那就回家了，怎么知道，我竟然不是渐渐的忘记他，而是渐渐的越来越爱他！
或许这就是所谓的真爱吧...
所以，我就开始了追求她。
直到7月7日，11：41pm，我们开始了！
那天是星期一晚上，我开心得整晚没睡，隔天带着熊猫眼去学校咯...
虽然我们有蛮远的距离，但是我们还是一起相爱。
我们都对彼此很好，没有吵架，还一起支持对方要加油加油。
直到十月，我写信给他了，我想给她一个惊喜。
虽然那时SPM就快到来，但我们的恋爱使我更加发愤图强的去读书。
我知道这是一个很好的恋爱，我们彼此支持对方，而不是因为相爱而荒废学业。
SPM来了，他每天都支持我。
直到11月23日，我发现到他对我越来越冷淡，我就知道一些事情发生了。
我一直问他什么事，他只模模糊糊的带过。
11月25日，我逼她说了出来，他说我们的距离实在太远了。
好吧，那天晚上我跟他分手了。
但我依然很爱她，所以我主动向他提出做朋友的要求。
12月2日，考完SPM了！
12月12日，我又见回他了！
12月12日晚上和12月13日晚上，我都很争取时间和她谈天。
他送我礼物了！我好开心，还是心形的巧克力，还是情人的巧克力。
我知道，如果不是距离这笨东西，我们一定是全世界最幸福的恋人。
12月13日晚上，我和他谈天时，我好想吻她...
但他说还不可以，算了吧。下次还有机会。
我向他提出很多很多的承诺，我也完成了三样承诺。
那些承诺永远都记在我心中，我一定会对他做得到！
他是我心中的女神，他是我心中的最爱，他在我心中的地位也赢过了我妈妈。
在他出现之前，我最爱我妈妈的。
他也是我心中唯一的爱人！
在他出现后，我对其他的女生没有兴趣了，这对我来说很反常。
可能这是真爱吧...我好想好好的去疼爱她。
陈启慈，我永远爱你！

2008年对我来说是很精彩的一年，我在这一年遇到了一个值得我痴情的女生。
不过，再见了2008年~我会很想念2008年的！

陈B，我永远爱你！

2009-01-01T05:37:00.000-08:00

不知怎么的，我发现我越来越爱你了！
我们虽然分开，但我已经把我的心交给你了。
有人说，你为了她而这样痴情是不值得的，但我认为很值得，因为我知道我很爱你。
虽然我们已经分手了，但我相信我们还能在一起，只要我能够坚定。
为什么我的朋友都认为四个月的恋爱很长呢？
还是他们认为恋爱只是拿来娱乐吗？
我很佩服我的一个朋友，她和她男朋友的恋爱保持了44个月。
虽然他们之间有些吵架，但身为男女朋友，如果没有吵架才奇怪。
所以，我认为他们的才叫做恋爱，玩玩的就不是恋爱。
陈B，我对你说过的承诺，我一定会做到的！
有些承诺是我们分手前说的，我牢牢地记在脑里了。如果忘了也有承诺书，里面全都是我对你说过的承诺。
你说你不是一个浪漫的人，那就不需要浪漫咯，因为我会制造浪漫的嘛。
如果你忘了，我会帮你记回来的。

我希望以后，每年，我可以陪你过新年，大宝森节，农历新年，情人节，劳动节，母亲节，端午节，父亲节，国庆节，中秋节，圣诞节，生日，分手纪念日，拍拖纪念日。

我永远爱你！

New Year 2009

2008-12-31T16:34:00.001-08:00

My boring new year.. Count down by myself, sit at home alone..
Maybe some people think I am crazy, and doing something is impossible, but I don't believe it.. I just trust, I love her and serious in love.. 1 day I will together with her back..
I always like that.. Always be the SPECIAL 1.. Our chinese culture is, when we praise some people, they will think we are mocking them.. That's why I am not a friend in my friend's eyes.. DAMN... I praise them truly, they thought I mocked them truly..
Bad chinese culture, find a job??
Chinese culture
Daddy and mummy: "Son, you should study hard and find a good job then can earn a lot of money." What the hell!!! JOB?????? yup! everyone have to find a good job.. but not earn money by a job forever! I dislike my mummy and daddy when they asked me to find a job..
I just tell them: "I don't want a job, I need a career, everyone success in job sure can't be rich for 100%! only for those people success in career just can rich!"
That's why I say I need a job for temporary, not forever! And find a good job, not work last longer.. Find a good job, find a good job, this thinking only for old man, as we young man, can't follow them anymore! we will be OUTDATED!!
Now a day, parents are teaching their children wrong concept.. they can't accept new concept.. It's normal! That's why rich people only have 5%, and poor people have 95%, people those success in life 5%, people those failure in life 95%.. If all people can accept new concept and do for it, nobody is poor, there is no beggar in this world anymore!
Happy New Year to everyone!
I wish Bells Chan can be happy forever and don't cry.. Bells Chan, I love you! I hope next year count down don't be alone anymore.. I hate that feeling...

很有意思...令我有许多感触...

2008-12-28T02:06:00.000-08:00

其实很多男孩子都不知道....
女孩子在冲他们发火然后自己转过身却在不断哭
泣。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气，
因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，
也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。

你要知道，
假若她不喜欢你，
她根本不会来在乎你关心你，
怕你做错事情。
你要知道，
假若她不喜欢你，
她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她，
在别人面前她都是淑女。
你要知道，
假若她不喜欢你，
你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，
让她即使生气也不会超过2天。
而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，
而着一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她。

于是，你们时常争吵，
你认为她脾气不好，
她认为你不够迁就她。
于是，你们总是冷战，
你以为她不喜欢你，
她以为你不在乎她。
要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉
而沧桑，那是更加的美。
因为她喜欢你，所以她偶而冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。
因为她喜欢你，所以她才会生你的气；
而又因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气很久。

你可知道，
每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，但是很容易就碰伤摔碎。
你可知道，
每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害。

她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，
因为真正值得她哭的那个人根本舍不得让她哭。
她会很矜持，她会很骄傲，她会很冷淡，她总是嘴里说着你走开，心里却一直叫你留下。
请你张开你的耳朵，也请你打开你的心，去听她心里真正的呼唤，而不是她嘴里的口是心非。
她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身，
当擦身而过的时候，你看不见她的泪，滂沱在脸上心里。

如果你喜欢她，请你多陪她,
如果你喜欢她，请你多宠她,
如果你喜欢她，请你多让她。
如果你喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是呐喊——请拥抱她
在爱情里，总是彼此伤害，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。
可是，爱情里没有谁对谁错,爱情里更加没有你比我多，我比你少。
你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够。
不要试图让彼此的伤害，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。
你们彼此相爱，你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快乐，不是伤害。
不要用沉默宣战，
不要互不相让，
更不要什么话都不讲就冷漠离去。
要知道，你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛著泪光。
越是安静战火就越专一，着是冷战也是彼此的伤害
无论是怎么的复合，那些伤口曾经存在，抹不去的。

请跟她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。
她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，
她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静。
请记住，相爱的人不要轻易宣战，因为冷战带来的伤害，超出你的预计。
也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没有什么是你接受不了的，
只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。
那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病，
在你眼里都是撒娇。
也请记住，她喜欢你，她需要的不是你真的转身，
她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。
她只是想你宠她，想你抱她，哪怕，没有道歉....

Merry Xmas! But I am unhappy..

2008-12-24T23:55:00.000-08:00

Xmas ler.. But I am unhappy..
1st: can't celebrate because no body celebrate with me..
2nd: Xmas day I also sick......
3rd: Xmas day (25/12/08) last month (25/11/08) was our broken date.. haiz..
4th: poor.. no money to play..
5th: all my managers not in BM, can't appointment..

that's all..
why suddenly I would be sick?? so sad.. can't eat anything nice taste..
the smell of karipop is very nice! but I can't eat!! T.T cry... down... stunt!..
I hope my stupid fever fast fast pass away.. don't come to me anymore!

Do you believe true love? I do..

2008-12-17T16:47:00.000-08:00

Love forever, I love you forever..
These kinds of words always come out from couple.. But it is true?
When I didn't break up with her.. Before that, I also told her I love her forever.. Actually I also can't believe that.. After we broke up.. I just realized that she is my true love, who can be loved forever!
I am so unhappy, why when she said want to break up with me and I just let her go.. I shouldn't do that.. But after broke up also nice.. I can know how deep I love her.. I can know she is the only one person I love..
Qi Ci, if you see this.. Then you can understand me.. I really love you!
I ain't say forever la.. As long as my life, I'll take my whole life to love you! If the god gives me 10000 years to live, then I will be loving you 10000 years..

Just came back from KL

2008-12-16T11:18:00.000-08:00

New Era camp was very nice~~ everybody!! if got chance then must go!!
after that camp.. I realized that our relation is better than before already..

I think we can reinstate our couple relationship..
I really love her very very much!
Chan Qi Ci, I love you !!

Find a target! Enjoy your life!

2008-12-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

SPM ended already.. everyone should find a work to do..
for me.. my target is earn a lot of money..
so must try to find a work that you interest and enjoy life and work..
for those ppl who just work and saying that work is boring..
please don't work anymore~~

I let girl played again... T.T

2008-11-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

She told me: "Now I treat you like a brother."
I asked her: "Then why from the beginning she chosen me?"
She answered me: "From started I loved you, now I not love you already."
......................................

why??? sad... Treated a girl good.. from love became brother.. she told me before " I love you as deep as the sea"..... all guys please don't so easy believe in girl.. now the world changed already.. not guy betrays girl anymore, is girl betrays guy..

my first love, that girl betrayed me..

my second love, girl betrayed me..

a true love.. where are you?? I don't fall in love anymore........... T.T

My frame of mind

2008-11-25T00:52:00.000-08:00

I am so sad.. I don't know what I want, what I need, what I know.. What I should do? Everyone very happy because SPM is ending soon, but still a sad person here.. If she really wants to break with me, I won't believe in love anymore.. It hurts me..

She treats me coldly.....

2008-11-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

Don't know what happened between us.. She treats me coldly.. I don't know what to do.. So, I only can post something to let off.. Anyone can teach me what I shall do??