Too tired of college life

How long I haven't been back to my blog? How long I have been busy until now that I have my time to write this blog? Erm, all these questions are hard to answer because I was being busy all the time. I am a person who like to change perspective and opinion. I remember that I have a friend who always introduces me new song to listen, but I always say that song not nice. However, after few weeks, I will just keep listening to that song. Maybe I am like that? I don't even know.


I gotta be friendly, confident and passionate in everything that I want to accomplish. Sometimes turn to be quite arrogant, sorry, friends. A studiuos and future thinker, I am always feel content about my life. I hope that I can finish my degree as fast as possible so that I can work and have a bright future. For me, future, money and lastly health are everything. Kind of selfish but do goods for family members and lover too.

Louis ®

Aduh... Hols...

What's going on? Holiday..

"What should I do?"

I have been asking myself everyday for many weeks already..

However, I enjoy my holiday, I love my holiday, I want to do nothing as do everything at my little house..

Drama, drama, drama..

Anime, anime, anime..

Dota, dota, dota..

Gym, gym, gym..

Keep repeating and repeating..

I love my life, I enjoy my life~

Ladies and gentlemen enjoy your holiday too ^^

Louis ®

Gonna be crazy soon..

Just saw friends' photos. I am getting a little bit crazier and angrier. What does it mean? FRIENDS? BROTHERS? They are just using you when they feel that you have that usage. After that, they don't even want to care about you and don't even say a "HI" to you! That's not feeling of neglected, is feeling of betraying. Don't like to talk much about it. I should be alone. I don't deserve any friend.

惜...

今天，我才发现到，我原来是那么让人不敢接近啊...朋友缘，我是注定了没有的。能跟我做得到朋友的最多几个月而已...原来，我的人气都是那么差的。没人会喜欢我的...看到周围的人，人气王。我没办法，我也想要一些朋友，一起玩耍、谈天。就像小时候，我跟我三个哥哥们，一起追逐玩耍，像几个乡间小孩一样。为什么，长得越大，看到的东西越来越多、越来越难接受？朋友也就不能靠近我、不能跟我谈心事。


我曾经把心交出去，可是换回来的是，一次次的...伤害。难道，我就是那么一个人的吗？无论是友情或爱情。我很在意、很在意、很在意，虽然我一直都说无所谓。我很在意，朋友们的疏离，可能是我太冷了吧，总是被丢掉的那个。可是，我并不像别人那样厉害说话，我并不像别人那样。我没有资格去责怪...


上天，实现我的愿望...我希望，从此以后，我不是被丢掉的那个，友情和爱情都是。我宁愿，减寿、变穷人都好...我爱的人，我爱的朋友们，还有我爱的家人。我一直都很珍惜你们，可是我不会说话，请原谅...我的嘴巴并不甜，我的头脑并不创意，可是...我真的很珍惜...生命中的你们。


如果上述的文章太过伤感的话，下面有一个冷笑话：

有一天，一个男孩问一个女孩：“你喜欢什么花？”
女孩回答：“我喜欢两种花。”
男孩急忙问：“哪两种花？我送给你！”
女孩低头小声说：“有钱花、随便花！”
男孩傻傻地说：“你真美！”
女孩妩媚的说：“哪里美？”
男孩说：“想得美！”

What define love?

What define love? Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attention. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes. Its ranging is from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love you"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.


Now, I want to share something is about interpersonal love. This type of love is the most interesting for our human beings.

The story starts from:

A guy who was always alone, did not trust any other person at all. He did not want to share anything with his friends, his relatives, except his mother. The reason was he loves his mother a lot. The way came to this was because his father made his mother felt sad before. His father, is a kind and responsible person, but he had been found that he had another girlfriend beyond his family. That is why, he hates his father and loves his mother. That is why, he did not really believe any other person excluding his mother. He was always building a concrete wall in his heart and the wall was getting stronger and stronger. Because he did not want another person to understand him.


Until one day, he noticed a girl. He felt that girl was not a good girl because her surrounding friends. He did not like her friends. Time passed... Few months, he again, met that girl. And then, he started talking to her. At that time, he found out that the girl was not what he had been thinking before. He found that girl was extremely kind and good. And he, was falling in love deeply but with only one side love. He tried his best to approach her, to talk to her, to accompany her, to understand her. However, it was very sad that because the girl did not want to get into relationships. That girl told him: "I want to be a good friend with you, and I do not want to let the relationship stuff to affect our friendships."


He was very upset for few days. Why? Because he fell in love deeply, deeply until he could not know any other particular thing. He knew, he was always alone, he did not deserve a love, he should not have been a human being, he did not deserve a heart, a mind inside his body. He was a guy, very very low self-esteem.

Story, to be continued...


Love is a complicated thing for humans. I personally wish all those couples should cherish their relationships and do not break up easily because love is the most important thing in this world and the amount to purchase a love is uncountable. Somebody dies for love, somebody lives for love, some miracles happen for love, love is an incredible thing, please cherish it.

I was so high I did not recognize

The fire burning in her eyes

The chaos that controlled my mind

Louis ®

我的内心世界

星期天 （晴天）

今天的我好大胆，竟然一个人不懂路就骑着摩托车去timesquare。兜这里兜那里才去到，去了又不会回家，又是乱兜...我去timesquare是为了买一个新的digi sim card。为了她买...还有是因为爸爸忘记还钱，我没得打电话。没办法啦，所以就去买了。


听着一些感动的歌...才有心情写部落格。有人说部落格是开放的日记。可是我并不这么认为。部落格是给人记录心情的一个地方。有时候看回部落格会有一种特别的感受。我的眼泪有时候也很容易掉下，我会因为看了别人的部落格而心疼、掉泪。


我会常常觉得，我什么都比不上人家。所以在做着任何事情都好，我都不会去特别争取。因为别人会表现得比我好很多...或许这就是我的性格吧...？无论是在什么地方都好，我都会让别人。我不会刻意和别人争某样东西，如果他真的喜欢，我都会让别人。


部落格，通常都是一个充满情绪词句的地方。我每次写部落格时，我总会听一些很感动的歌曲，我才会有心情去写。我依稀地记得，在我和我前女友启慈分手后，我每次写部落格，我都会流下眼泪。我也是为了她，才开始我的部落格生活...

Louis ®

Back After

I am very busy and lacking of time for these few months. Actually, I do not know why I am not enough of time usage. There are a lot of things, works to do, my mind is actually going to burst! I view my blog everyday, but I am really lazy to write something on my blog. Maybe I have no idea with what I must write, what I should write? Maybe this is because of Human Communication blog? I have to write two posts on my Human Communication blog weekly, that is enough to kill my brain cells, I have no energy to think what I should write on my blog anymore. However, I will be writing my blog again.


I have to talk about Mooncake Festival first, everyone had their Mooncake Festival activities, but not me. I actually stayed at home and did my works. How long I have not been playing a latern? I think I have not been playing a latern for around five years already. The last time I played a latern when I was form 1. Unfortunately, I cannot recall what I was playing on that day. Memories gone again. I made a call to my parents and wished them Happy Mid-Autumn, they were very happy that I wished them. My parents told me that the whole Penang was raining on Mooncake Festival Day. That sounds so sad because every person could not play a latern due to rain. Although I was not going to celebrate Mooncake Festival, I was seeing scenery of KLCC from my house which is located at Setapak. Sound of crackers, I could feel it; sound of Mat Rempit, I could sense it.


I have made a promise to a girl, I do not know whether I can do it or not. I trust that I will do it. She is a perfect girl who I have never ever seen before. Therefore, I felt that she is highly unreachable, I did not know how to talk to her, how to confess to her in real life, how to make real friends with her. She always told me that she is not perfect, but I feel that she is perfect now. She told me that I like her, I adore her just a crush issue, but as the time goes, I do love her. She told me that she is not getting in love in this year, I told her that I can wait for her. I know I am not doing such stupid things, I know I am doing a right thing, at least that is right for me. I asked her before, "Do I deserve a chance?", she answered me, "Everyone stays a chance." I hope that chance is me.


KLCC view is really nice, especially at the night. I am seeing the KLCC view at living room. This month is a Pink Month. Good luck to everyone, involve in pink as much as you can.

Leave old pictures in the past,

Donate every dime you have,

If today was your last day.

Louis ®

Memories Left Abandoned

I am so upset that my memories are all gone now, I was trying my full effort to find out my past photos but I could not have found it! I login to my friendster and tried to look for but they were deleted by me last time. I did that because I was still in relationship with my past girlfriend and I did not want her to see those photos that I had taken with my female friends. In addition, I actually saved those photos in my first handphone that I had, that was my lovely N-GAGE QD. However, that phone was broken down in March and now, those memories are all gone! I intended to write this blog because I wanted to write down my feeling and every memory. I do not want to repeat the same mistake that I have done.

I wasted a lot of time in this weekend, I did not fully use the free time when I was at home. I just did those things that actually useless for me. I was wasting time on watching drama, reading novel. I still remember that my aunt always told me that we must always put full effort on doing everything, we should not do other things that are not related to the thing we are doing. Of course I know that is the way to success, but everyone knows that is very difficult for us to concentrate for one thing. One has a very good willpower only can go to the way of success, can we train our willpower? I know it is a very difficult, the toughest lesson, but we must handle it. I must always tell myself, I should not be lazy, I should not be emotion, I should not be playful! Those three things I have always told myself, I have only achieved two of the three, I am always happy and trying not to be angry, I am not playful like before. Lazy, a habit that parasitizes in our body and it is very difficult to be removed. However, I will try my best to remove it and I know I can do it.

Today, I went to Klang with Edwin, Alvis, Bryant to eat Bak Kut Teh. When I first saw the buildings in Klang, the first imagination in my mind was Perak because the buildings in Klang look like ancient. On the other hand, I must admit that Klang is a good place to take our meal because the food over there is very delicious! After I have been in Kuala Lumpur for so long, I did not really taste a tasty food because Penang's food is very delicious! After that, we killed our 2 hours at cyber cafe, we played counter strike and command 2. Edwin and Alvis are gay partners, they always have a very good tacit understanding. Good friends normally will have a perfect tacit understanding but I have not found my one yet. About my beautiful weekend, Saturday, I spent the late morning with Alvis and his girlfriends at a dim sum restaurant. We had had our brunch there because of Alvis' late waking up. Bryant came to my house to sleep over night because he had a meeting that regarded to Chinese Society yesterday night. I wasted a lot of times with them but I feel that was worthy.

Wish all of the readers will not let memories left abandoned. If we lose our memories, we will regret!

So give me reason,

To prove me wrong,

To wash this memory clean.

Louis ®

An Unlucky Day

Since I has been writing my group blog for human communication, I think I love writing already. While we are writing, it makes our brain to work, process; we have to think creatively to write a good article. My friends, my coursemates around me are really good writer, they can write a good article even though some of them are writing Chinese article. Their literary talent is very good, they are brilliant too! I must practice my writing skills also, I intended to improve my writing skills!

Today is my unlucky day, I went to college for attending class at 3pm. That was my human comm class, we were watching movie during class. Actually, we have to write down the description of every character in that movie and pass up on next Monday. We had fun, we laughed loudly but in the half way, the movie could not be played because of some technique error. Moreover, that technique error only happened when the climax of that movie. That movie is called "Rat Race", it was really nice! I only know the only one actor inside, that was Mr. Bean! His speaking was very cute and funny, his acting skills was very mature but very childish which is very contradictive. That movie began with all of the eight people went to a casino for gambling and they won a coin that could bring them to conference room for party. They only realized that was a giant prize was waiting for them to win it. The host of the game told them that who is the first one that can open the locker which contains $2,000,000,000 in New Mexico will be the winner. They were all running for it to get the big prize, they commited a crime, they stole, they planned to murder while they were running for it. However, we could not finish that movie because of technique error existed!

Afterward, I got a message from my English classmate, he told me that our group has been closed! I was shocked when I got this message because I did my timetable for two hours long. If my English class is close, other English classes all clash with my other subjects. It would be a problem for me to reschedule it again. We as my classmates in English group Q and I went to HMC office to do some changes. HMC staff did some changes on my timetable, my timetable is very disabled now. I have 6 hours break on Wednesday and I only can go back home after 5pm for every working day excluding Friday. It is really a disabled timetable.

Today, 11st of September is my unlucky day! I will not forget this day!

Say you gotta take the good,

the bad,

happy and the sad.

Louis ®

Begging for forgiveness

Today is my second day in my second semester. My seniors were frightening me that second semester is the toughest semester in foundation! I really scare that if I could not pass my second semester? If I could not pass my second semester, I have to retake the whole progress again? I hate that! I must put more effort than first semester, I must work harder! The lecturers I got in this semester are totally different to first semester, this semester I got three Chinese lecturers and one Indian lecturers only. By comparing to last semester, I got all the lecturers were Indian, dark skin. Anyhow, I am so unlucky that I have become a class rap for Critical Thinking Skills class and Advanced English class for the throughout 14 weeks! Fortunately, I am only helping my Critical Thinking Skills lecturer to carry her things unlike in Advanced English class. I have to inform all my classmates about everything that my Advanced English lecturer informs me, so I have to check my email every half day and keep my mobile phone on all the times!

However, I feel I am so lucky because I have chosen the right classes and the right lecturers. Especially my human communication's lecturer, he is really nice and funny! I think my following weeks will be very fun and excited! Everyone will be hyper active in his class! I do not know how he does it, but he does! And in my Critical Thinking Skills class, my lecturer teased me in the morning! She asked me why my signature is Andy but my name is Louis? I answered her, because my secondary friend designed the signature for me and I think it is beautiful. She asked me to change my signature. This is my bad experience in the classroom, my second day of this semester some more! Luckily, tomorrow is Friday, I have no classes on tomorrow, I can sleep on my bed until late afternoon though I cannot sleep until so late because I am used to wake up at 9am. I think I will start my reading on Critical Thinking Skills, Economics textbook. I think I have to do so because I do not want to disappoint my parents and my aunt as well.

This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

Louis ®